The worst pain I could ever imagine is what I've been feeling. My boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me a week ago today. I had hoped by now I would feel better about it, but I haven't. It only hurts more.

Last Tuesday he told me that he was no longer in love with me. He told me he just couldn't go on dating me when he wasn't in love with me. We had been fighting before then, which I know hurt it. I can be quite a mean person sometimes, even though I don't mean to be. And since he's always the one I talk to, he's the one I take it out on. Another factor to the whole thing is that neither of us drive, and since I work, and he's in school, its hard to see each other.

But back to the whole love issue. His love had already started to wander. So rather than cheat on me he broke up with me. Right now his heart is torn in three directions. There's a girl at school who he's physically attracted to. He wanted her so bad. He even kissed her a few times after we broke up. But she said she could only love him as her brother. But he still likes her.

Then there's the girl that he's actually dating right now. They started dating a few days after we broke up. She's never had a boyfriend before, and her personality seems to be a lot like mine. Basically, the way it seems, is that he wanted to start over. He felt like our relationship went to quick, so he wants to try again with this girl. But its hard for him to go from having a relationship where we could do anything, to having one where he can't even hold her hand.

And then there's me. We talk everyday. I know we shouldn't, but we can't help it. Everyday we talk. We talk when we wake up and when we go to bed. It feels so natural that we can't help it. We laugh, and joke, and say things that we shouldn't say. And I know he loves me, but he can't be with me right now.

I'm trying to move on. But I can't. He's the one that makes me happy and he's the one I want. So, things are not so easy right now.

And to make things even more interesting, I cut my hair. To anyone that knows me, you'll know that that's a HUGE deal. Its a little longer than shoulder length now. And its got the prettiest gold highlights. I really like it. Its just so short!

But I figured it was about time to tell everyone what's going on. I'm just having fun here folks!